


The Lime Floating In Virgin Cuba Libre Is Not That Sour

by GhostheartMetaphor



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:18:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5343833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostheartMetaphor/pseuds/GhostheartMetaphor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Dr Sheldon Cooper dissected the theory of soulmate with the crowning science and won Nobel prize for it. But what concerned the media most was the mystery of his soulmate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lime Floating In Virgin Cuba Libre Is Not That Sour

**Author's Note:**

> Note: the part of Sheldon's speech was totally cooked up by me, so it was totally *crap* for the lack of science. Anyway, just for fun :P

"Consensual sexual or non-sexual contact established between two individuals may trigger the predetermined dendrites of your neurons, which approximately acts like a liner threshold element. This means that if you share skin touch with your potential soulmate, the bond might easily be created, for the information is transferred along each neuron by means of an electrical pause. And among these neurons, the one really matters is the ones with neuronal cell body shape like the fusiform. These cells, as I mentioned above, give out information which has a great effect on the post-synaptic neurons, for they exaggerate the probability that this kind of neuron emit a spike."

Dr Sheldon Cooper walked down the superb and dazzlingly (brightly) lighted hall which accurately depicted his life of science, which was not reached by passing through a long and ghastly kitchen but another well-lit hall.*  
Everything seemed so proper and ridiculous to him. The joy in the seventh heaven almost drive the deity of truth to dance on the String and explode into flames in the Big Bang. His blinked his bluish eyes beneath the chandelier, lips curled up awkwardly almost like a smile.  
"The one and the only one talent human species are gifted with in this society filled with coitus-like chaos is the gift of presenting the right honor to the worthy person." He murmured to himself, quite flattered by the saving of tears used to cry over others' stupidity and the lime floating in the Virgin Cuba Libre in his own imagination, which could also be seen as the sheldonian champagne for the sheldonian victory.  
Being the youngest awardee of Nobel prize did gratify him, though it's not physics but chemistry for the reason that he provided other choices for those destined soulmates by explaining the 'lack of science' soul theory through neurology and gave this damn world a kick on ass. And right now he was submerging himself in the world of his science fantasy.  
Person who euthanized this delightful peace was a tiny redhead. She was a pretty reporter with bewitching emerald eyes, freckles standing out darkly against her pale skin. She wore pinky red lipsticks looking juicy and sweet, CLR hidden subtly in her velvet dress's pocket.  
"Dr Cooper," she leaned against him, eyes flaming in fever."What do you really think of soul mating? Is it totally something you want to get rid of like you said in your speech? Or your science have a clean break with it? "  
"No," Sheldon turned to her and frowned a bit, ignoring the truth of her being a frivolous little fool for he actually didn't catch the hint. "How do they describe the relation? I suppose it's 'hate the sin but love the sinner'." Leonard 's words flashed through his mind, rumbling,crackling and spluttering.

"Sheldon, if you may, avoid conversations with anyone who wears a reporter face?" Leonard sighed with profound resignation, eyes focusing on the ice-cream-savoring Sheldon worryingly."If they are driven crazy by your annoying speech given all day, which they will, the whole world will know their savior comes from Mars."  
"Vulcan." Sheldon interrupted him. He seemed to be in a quite good mood, for not shutting Leonard up in his mind and hissing at him like he always did.  
"Right." Said a relieved Leonard, who obviously forgot the doctrine 79: Beware the Vulcan greed for knowledge. They can hardly resist the temptation of having a taste of new things.

"Though I am not equipped with such overwhelming emotions, but we cannot deny that soulmates can be good friends, supporters and companions." He got rid of the reporter's carefully-nailed hands on his shoulder and gave her a serious wolf-stare."Get out of Enterprise, Lieutenant Mary Sue."  
Narrowing his eyes in a tricky smile, he added: "It is a sarcasm."  
The petite reporter, also referred to as ”Lieutenant Mary Sue”, took back her hands with a start. She felt so akward that her shiny eyes were filled with emerald fury which nearly burnt the scientist into ashes. But she swallowed all the unconscious insult from the exquisitely constructed and highly-deceptive human machine and casted the sharpest spell she could ever thought on him.  
"Are you a Vez Optor*?" She tried to copy his abrasive wit and caustic words to hurt their original owners.  
"Sarcastically, I am not." The laureate lifted his spidery eyebrows, raising his tone. "And it is impolite of you to infringe my privacy. Your behavior is not fully justified by the traditions. This is absurd."  
"It is you that's absurd. Guess what? You'll never find someone as your soulmate because loving you is absurd." She said to herself, grinning derisively at him.  
"Dr Cooper, I wonder if your soulmate will be unhappy about your research,for according to your own speech, you expressed your untamed distain for soulmating and ‘overwhelming emotions’ as well as your spectacular discovery about how to disconnect with your partner if you want. So is it the next step you will take?”  
“Drat.”To her surprise, Sheldon glanced her with pitiful eyes and she finally undestood Dr Cooper’s definition of distain.”Despite the fact that bond conversation is pretty annoying, having a soulpartner working for you and befriend with you is elevating and of great efficiency. And by the contrast of your prochecy suggesting a rift will appear between Leonard and me like the summer ground suffering from the homogeneous temperature field, Leonard will take me to Disneyland and he will not frighten me with Goofy.”  
Staring at the shock spreading on the reporters’ face, Sheldon smiled trickily with great satisfaction.  
”Do not expect the ‘Bazinga!’.”

* Vez Optor, originally from Latin, kinda like the asexual person in the soulmate AU. Describing the situation of soulmate disfunctioning.  
* Quote from Claude Bernard, "the prince of vivisectors" and the father of physiology.


End file.
